Kalesh with padhai

"Kyun nhi ho rhi padhai?"

The number of times I hear this sentence in a day is insane. It was funny at some point, but now it just feels like a reflection of my incapability. Iska jawab dhundte dhundte mere do brain cells ne bhi muscles bana liye. Roz ek hi sawal dimag me mandrata hai, kyu? ‘Padhai ho nahi rahi doesn’t mean padhna nahi chahta/chahti.’ If you analyze this sentence carefully, ‘padhna chahta/chahti hu,’ bhai sach toh ye hai, jahan chahat hoti hai wahan faltu shikayatein nahi hoti.

Iske irdh-girdh ghoomta hai ‘Motivation’. After entering 11th, what I have learned is, motivation toh aane se raha, backlog nahi aana chahiye. Breaking down motivation (according to me) in simple terms: it is the force that is supposed to drive/fuel you to do something. For me, fuel is winning, aur vo fuel ki tanki kabhi kabhi kuch zyada dry ho jati hai, and thus I procrastinate. Of course, this might not apply to you, but what does, that’s for you to figure out.

Ab yaar, ek simple si baat hai: agar motivation ek auto-rickshaw hota toh sab baith ke apne apne destination tak ka safar kar lete. Lekin, reality mein toh motivation ek Uber pool jaisa hai—kab mil jaye, kab na mile, you never know. I hate to break it down to you, honey, but watching 5 videos on motivation isn’t gonna help. Ek pal ya din ke liye tu padh bhi le, par kal ya parso phir wahi haalat kyu? Kya fayda? Sticky notes on your wall are about to fall, par tu tabhi wahi hai. Motivation ki wait kar raha/rahi.

Motivation is not something that comes; it’s something that wakes up from a deep sleep you put it into just because you can’t find an external source of it, failing to realize it lies within you. Main ya koi aur tumhe kitna bhi bole, it’s not gonna work. You gotta build your own motivation; you can’t wait for it to formulate itself. According to me, motivation is a product of consistency. Once you start building the discipline, once you start being consistent, you are already ahead of 70% of people around you. At that point, you won’t even remember motivation because you’ll be too busy with progress.

The truth is, consistency builds momentum, and momentum makes the effort seem effortless. Think about it, motivation isn’t a magical unicorn. It’s that annoying alarm clock you want to shut off but eventually gets you out of bed. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being better than you were yesterday.

Sach kahun toh main bhi issi prajati ki hu, procrastination rag rag me behta hai. But in the past few years, I have realized running after validation is my biggest setback. Explaining it, validation is something that feeds from social media and trust me, once you get on that app, you are never getting off. Constant validation from your story likers, constant need for you to entertain those people who barely know you. This messed me up, to be honest. And I realized until and unless you don’t delete that distraction, you are never going to be in control of your own conscience.

Funny right? How one app restricts you from using your potential, how it has such an influence on you. If you are able to handle everything well, then good for you man, keep going. But hum jo bas scroll kiye ja rahe hain, kripiya karke iss device ko phek de (rakh de). Apne dimag me jo millionaire banne ke sapne bitha rakhe hain, sir vo bhagwan aake aapko genie nahi de jayenge. Apni tasrif uthake din raat ek karni padti hai. Happiness requires struggles. And when you realize this, you stop blaming fate for the happiness you want.

‘You’ve just got to want it enough.’ Everyone wants something enough, something they are willing to struggle for. But changing that ‘willing to struggle’ into ‘is struggling’ is something that is supposed to set you apart.

Getting back to the question at the start, I hope you find your answer now. Because my friend, in this rat race, it doesn’t matter if you’re the one ahead. What matters is how steady you maintain your position.